Tonight

Tonight I can't stop my toes from wiggling as I peruse mama blogs and beautifully-written stories of homebirth.

Tonight I can't stop thinking about how powerful and peaceful my own labor and birth might be [someday].

I have felt such a craving to become a mother for over a year now. Nothing to do with my biological clock -- I am only 22 years old. Maybe having something to do with my upbringing -- daughter of a homebirth midwife. But whatever the reason, there is an enormous, fire-y, intense desire within me to surrender my body and welcome a new soul into this world.

And after some time of living this desire, my wonderful soul mate-husband-partner of two and a half years is almost ready to take the leap with me! Miles and I are hoping to start welcoming a baby into our lives on New Years Day.

With this joyful decision comes fear as well. Will people think I got pregnant because I couldn't make a career work or because it was the next logical step? Will we have enough money to support ourselves and a child? Will I be able to handle the sleep deprivation? I am speaking these fears aloud as to relinquish myself from their power. Here's to concentrating on the positive and going with the flow!

Blessed be.